Communication & connection

Meeting them where they are.

Finding small moments of connection in real time, rather than comparisons to the past, will support you in being able to meet the person you care for ‘where they are’ on that day. Meeting people where they are means communication of some form can be sought at any stage of dementia.

Even if a person is struggling to recognise you, comfort can be given to help the person you care for feel safe and loved. Connection sits at the heart of living grief and can support the changing nature of a relationship.

When words become difficult

If words become difficult, remember that your presence alone offers a lot. A gentle touch, smile or simply sitting together can convey (an emotive) connection beyond conversation. Maintaining eye contact and keeping your body language open can support these moments.

Simplifying conversations

To make communication clearer, you can also try shorter sentences and only asking one question at a time. Give the person you care for the space to process information without feeling rushed or overwhelmed. If they are struggling to find words, give them additional time rather than finishing sentences or giving suggestions. This can preserve their sense of agency and prevent frustration or a break-down in conversation.

" They might not know your name, but they know you are important.

— Carer in West Lothian

Close-up of an elderly woman with grey hair, blue eyes, and a warm smile, wearing pearl earrings and a striped purple and black top, standing indoors with wall decorations in the background.

Validation over correction

Meeting someone ‘where they are’ sometimes means entering their reality instead of pulling them back into yours. If confusion is present, rather than correcting the facts, focus on the feeling behind their words instead. This can prevent unnecessary distress and maintain a peaceful connection.

Four practical guides

A black silhouette of a tree with a branch extending on the right side, set against a white background.

Slow down

Give extra time for responses

Graph showing data points connected by a line, with axes and gridlines.

Simplify

Use clear, one-step directions or questions

Silhouette of a person climbing a mountain with a flag at the peak, under a starry night sky.

Body language

Use touch and eye contact to reinforce your words

An abstract black and white illustration with a brain in the center, surrounded by various interconnected icons and symbols representing ideas, technology, and creativity.

Listen to the ‘feeling’

If the words don’t make sense, look for the emotion behind them

Connection ideas

Pictorial diaries

Black and white line drawing of a mountain and snowflake with a copyright symbol.

Photos with captions or some narration can help to remember loved ones.

Sensory blankets

A black silhouette of a human face profile with a book in front of the face

Provides tactile stimulation and comfort.

Photo albums

Illustration of a person playing guitar with musical notes around them.

You can reminisce through visual cues.

Pet therapy

Engage with animals for emotional support and comfort.

Silhouette of a person in mid air with arms raised, surrounded by stars and an alarm clock, symbolizing dreaming or sleeping.
A black-and-white illustration of a butterfly with symmetrical wings.

Music and Art

Listening to favourite songs or painting together to encourage self-expression.

Start a memory book

A memory book is a lovely thing to build together, a little at a time. Choose a theme or two below for some gentle prompts to talk about and write down — there are no wrong answers.

Choose a theme above to see some prompts.

Practical aids

Making small, helpful adjustments to someone's living environment can support in reducing your worry or anxiety and help the person to maintain their independence for longer. Talking aids, such as clock or watches, larger button telephones and labelling can all support independence, and in turn ease repetitive questions or asks.