A space for carers navigating the daily losses of supporting someone with dementia.
This resource is for carers who are navigating living grief whilst supporting someone living with dementia. Living grief is the feeling of loss you experience daily.
All dementia journeys are deeply personal. You may have feelings of stress, isolation, or even resentment. It is okay to experience these feelings. It is common to feel guilty for grieving someone who is still present; this is a natural response to a changing relationship.
Acknowledging these feelings is a courageous step toward acceptance. It allows you the space to understand how grief affects both you and the person you care for.
This living grief support hub provides
You can choose to act on what is important and impactful for you at any point, whilst being able to revisit other information when you are ready.
Valuable information about living grief
Practical tools and strategies
Information about sources of support
In-the-moment strategies
Caring for someone with dementia can be emotionally overwhelming at times. These small, intentional acts can help you find a moment of steady ground
Micro-break
Daily check-in
Name the feeling
Small ways to connect
Finding a path toward acceptance
The type of grief you experience while the person you care for is physically present but mentally or emotionally changing is difficult to accept. Many people think grief happens after a bereavement, but in the case of dementia care, grief is experienced throughout, at all stages and in varying forms.
It’s important to allow yourself to mourn the relationship you had and everything it offered, including the plans you had for this stage of life. Acceptance means you stop or don’t fight the reality of the situation but instead accept that it’s evolving into something different.
Focusing on the value of the present moment and accepting changes as they happen, can make a significant difference to both you and the person you care for.
It may become a relationship of “being” rather than “doing”. Rather than measuring the day by what you achieved or resolved, “being” allows you to value the simple, unhurried connection that exists in the current moment.
For example, meeting the person where they are that day and listening to repetitive stories without correcting means you are accepting their reality. This can reduce agitation for you both, bring calm, and an increased sense of connection.
Small ways to connect
Dementia changes how we relate to one another, but connection is still possible. These are gentle, in-the-moment ideas — tap one to see how.
Listen to music together
Put on a favourite song or a piece of music that means something to the person you care for. Familiar music can reach people when words are hard, and it is something you can simply share, side by side, with nothing to fix or solve.
Look through photographs
Spend a few minutes with old photographs or a memory book. There is no need to test their memory — let them lead, follow the feeling rather than the facts, and enjoy whatever the pictures bring up.
Connect through touch
Hold their hand, or rest a hand gently on their shoulder. A calm, reassuring touch can offer comfort and a sense of safety even when conversation is no longer easy — your presence alone says a great deal.
Expressing your grief
Identifying and acknowledging grief throughout your whole journey means allowing yourself to feel emotions openly. Talking to family, friends, professionals and peer support groups can help you to express and air these feelings instead of trying to compress or hold them in.
As dementia is progressive, your feelings and emotions will change over time. Staying connected to a circle of support helps you adapt to your changing role whilst ensuring you continue to care for yourself too.
There is no defined time to access information — it just happens at a certain point, and you know you need more support.
— Carer in West Lothian
A daily check-in
How are you feeling today? There is no wrong answer, and you can choose something different another day. Pick whatever fits right now.
Stress is a natural response to a demanding situation. You do not have to carry it all at once.
Try giving yourself a few minutes of quiet, slow breathing before you do anything else.
Feeling isolated is incredibly common when you are caring. You are not alone, even when it feels that way.
Connecting with others who understand can help. A peer support group is one gentle place to start.
Resentment does not make you a bad carer. It is a sign that you are stretched and that your own needs matter too.
Consider one thing you could let go of or ask for help with today.
It is common to feel guilty for grieving someone who is still here. This is a natural response to a changing relationship.
Try naming the feeling rather than judging it — acknowledging it is a courageous step.
When everything feels like too much, the smallest step is enough. You do not have to solve it all today.
Asking for one piece of 'micro-support' can ease the pile-up. You do not need to justify it.
Your energy is finite and precious. Rest is part of caring, not a reward you have to earn.
A small act of self-care — water, food, a moment outside — can steady the day.
It is good to notice the steadier moments too. They matter just as much as the hard ones.
You might use this calmer moment for a small, shared point of connection.
How are you feeling today?
Helping to identify the way I’m feeling
Pause and take a micro-break
A minute to breathe
When things feel like they are escalating, give yourself permission to pause. Follow the circle, or just close your eyes and breathe along.
- Breathe in…
- Hold
- Breathe out…
There's no order, no expectation
Come back to any of this when you're ready.